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Jacqui teaching in Brisbane

Addressing Narcisism with Compassion Mind: Understanding concepts of Self and non-Self from Western Psychological and Buddhist perspectives

Presented for Sophia College by Dr Jacqui Dodds 30th July - 1st August. Ph: (08) 9726 1505

This workshop illustrates how we can develop and work with compassion to address narcissism in ourselves, our clients and our colleagues. It outlines the different understandings of self within Western Psychotherapy and contrasts these with the Buddhist conceptions of 'no inherent self' and no 'separate' entities.

Threatened by Cancer? Meditation DOES Help!

Take a look at my eBook detailing my research into Meditation and Cancer. See "Things to Buy"

Recent Book Reviews

- Practicing Peace in Times of War
- Opening Your Inner "I": Discover healing imagery through Selective Awareness
- The Sanity We Are Born With: A Buddhist Approach to Psychology
- Transcending Madness: The Experience of the Six Bardos
- Buddhist Practice on Western Ground
- Infidel
- Going To Pieces Without Falling Apart
- The Majesty of Your Loving

The power of belief

I have recently found myself musing about the amazing power of belief, particularly belief in a religion or guiding philosophy of life. Freud, for example, wondered at how men willingly die to “protect a scrap of cloth” (their country’s flag). We are called to sign up to fight for “God, King and Country” and ‘God’ is always presumed to be on our side!

History is full of wars fought in the name of God, or Allah or Jehovah and countless beings have died or been maimed for the rest of their lives from the violent effects, or results, of the wars fought in the name of a spiritual belief in a being (God) that cannot be observed with the senses. At the simplest level, God or Allah is a belief based entirely on faith in the word, or instruction, of authority figures. By contrast, the Buddhist explanation of karma (the moment-to-moment action and motivation of beings) as the force creating our worlds can be tested by careful observation.

Again, Freud comes to mind with his belief that God is a projection of the human ‘father’, or head of the family and Marx is renowned for his pronouncement that “religion is the opiate of the masses!” On a more personal level, two recent experiences have triggered my present contemplations on the power of belief.

‘Always trust that God knows best…’

The first experience was watching a movie on TV titled “Though None Go With Me”. Very briefly, the movie was structured around a Christian woman, the two men she loved and the nature of that love and how it was tested by life’s vicissitudes as she developed from an independent, ‘hungry for life’, young woman to an older woman in her 60s, respected by her church community for her generosity and service to those in need. Apart from enjoying the romantic and biographical nature of the movie, what really struck me was how she attributed all the deaths, losses and difficulties of her life to God’s will and action.

Again and again I wondered at what appeared to me as a projected responsibility for her suffering onto an all-powerful God figure. As one loss after another tested her faith in the God she felt responsible for her suffering, the advised solution to her distress was to distract herself from the pain by making herself busy. Fortunately for herself and those around her, this busyness involved helping others. The satisfaction she felt from doing this was again attributed to God’s generosity and love, rather than her own generous and loving actions.

From a Buddhist perspective, the shifting of focus from oneself to helping and attending to others is indeed put forward as a way out of suffering but the explanation for its effectiveness in reducing suffering is different to the Christian explanation. My understanding is that our deluded belief in our separateness  (each of us perceived as a separate entity) and the consequent expectation of an ongoing stability of existence – rather than constant change – are the prime sources of our suffering. The ‘refuge’ idea that supports us when life is difficult is an understanding of interbeingness: the dependent arising and impermanence of all phenomena, rather than a dependence on an all-powerful benevolent or avenging God-figure. By regularly contemplating the inevitability of change, death, impermanence and interbeingness, it seems easier to me to accept losses, illness and death than it would if I were to still believe in an all-powerful God that was arranging these experiences for me.

Thinking of ‘caged virgins!’

The second prompt to deeply contemplate the power of belief came in the form of the international bestseller, ‘The Caged Virgin‘ in which Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a Muslim, appeals to the West to save women from her religion’s hostility towards women, including the migrant and refugee women living in communities in the West. This book (which I have listed under recommended reading if you wish to buy it) comes before her moving memoir, ‘Infidel‘, in which she records and interprets the first few decades of her life  in which she was indoctrinated as a ‘true believer’ in the Islamic faith, that is until she discovered freedom of thought and action in the Netherlands. I was so moved by her story that I chose Infidel as one of the first books to review on this website. Her outspoken criticism of the Islamic faith she grew up with has resulted in death threats and rejection by her clan and close family. As an outspoken campaigner and a member of the Dutch parliament, the threats to her safety (at the time of writing Infidel) were deemed sufficiently serious by Dutch authorities to necessitate personal police protection and for a period she had to ‘hide out’ in the U.S.

She argues that “the Islamic faith lends itself more than any other to the preservation of premodern customs and traditions. For  in Islam, culture and religion are very closely connected, and verses from the Koran legitimize many practices that – in the eyes of Westerners – are unacceptable” (Hirsi, p.44). Reading this book, I am again horrified at the enslavement of Islamic women, justified by the belief that women are responsible for evoking sexual desire in men, rather than men being responsible for their actions and management of sexual desire.

Women are believed to be essentially the property of first the father, and then the husband. If she is perceived as shaming the family by breaking any of the many dress and behaviour rules that bind her, her father, husband or brothers may beat her, lock her up or even kill her! Again and again, Ayaan Hirsi Ali traces the endemic violence against women to Muhammad and the Koran. She points out how “even the victims of physical abuse themselves cite the Koran to justify the violent actions of the men, and often return to their husbands, promising they will be more obedient and improve their behaviour in the future” (p. 154).

It appears that, as in the Christian faith, ultimate responsibility for the affairs of Islamic men and women is seen to lie with the all-powerful God, or Allah,  and that all behaviour must comply with his rules, as interpreted by the Prophet Muhammad and the Imams. Punishment will be carried out in the name of God but according to the interests of the men who claim to act on his behalf. As Ayaan Hirsi Ali concludes near the end of ‘The Caged Virgin“, “the first victims of Muhammad are the minds of Muslims themselves. They are imprisoned in the fear of hell and so also fear the very natural pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness… The present-day attitude of Western cultural relativists, who flinch from criticizing Muhammad for fear of offending Muslims, allow Western Muslims to hide from reviewing their own moral values” (p.176).

In Buddhist thought, the moral values that guide action combine as the karma creating the world we perceive. Where, I wonder, does this God figure come in, other than as a projection of the responsibility we are reluctant to accept? If Islamic men were to come clean and tell women that they must do this and that “because I say so” or “because I want you to”, it seems unlikely that Islamic women would accept their subjugation so readily. To have God on one’s side seems a very handy device!

In conclusion, I am reminded of the Buddhist teaching that a mark of reaching the first stage of enlightenment is when one is no longer governed by the first three hindrances (Samyojanam):

* Sakkayaditti: Self centred, as though king or queen of the world;
* Vicikicca: sceptical doubt; nothing really matters; it is all relative to how I/you see it;
* Silabbataparamaso: belief in right and ritual; belief that one way of doing something is in itself, and in all circumstances, better than another.

So it is not belief in itself that is the problem, but rather the rigidity and denial of the right to question and disagree and adapt a belief according to circumstances that I question. It seems to me that all beliefs can become distorted by self-interest, misunderstanding and the abuse of power invested in a belief. I must also add a rider that I am not claiming Buddhist understandings as ‘the right belief’, nor theistic Christian, Islamic or Jewish religions as ‘wrong beliefs’. I fully accept that there are many paths to spiritual unfolding and wisdom. My concern is about projecting responsibility away from oneself and using another person’s spiritual belief to serve your own interests while claiming that it is ‘God’s will’.

What do you think? I recognise that I am touching on one small aspect of the vast bodies of religious and philosophical thought, but you, too, may have some quick reflection to share…

With warm wishes,

Jacqui

Attending to relationships more helpful than focus on emptiness!

We may not be solid, separate entities but we sure are moving in an ocean of relationships! We are communities of interbeing, on every level of our experience, inner and outer, and the great delusion is the belief that we are isolated, alone and out-of-place in our world.

We are most subject to this delusion when we are feeling depressed, anxious or powerless but this sense of separation and individuality is pervasive at all times and tends to be strongly supported in modern Western and consumer-driven cultures. As many of us “good Buddhists” know, this concept of separation, one from the other, this from that, is seen as fatally flawed and the manifestation of ignorance that causes so much pain and suffering in our lives.

So, imagine my relief, when at the eight day retreat with Tarchin Hearn that I have just returned from, he spoke of little else than the complex weavings of inter-relationship – interbeing – that is our experience, moment to moment, past, present and future! I don’t think he spoke once of the concepts of ‘no-self’ or emptiness. And yet his colourful, poetic descriptions of how we and our present environment have been, and continue to be shaped by the flow of learnings from past and present teachers; the genetic and historic ground of our ancestors, with all their many talents; and the ecological ground of immeasurable, inter-relating life-forms and elements, speaks powerfully of the mystery of no separate self and no separate entities, described as anatta and often translated as ‘emptiness’. What a full emptiness! Read the rest of this entry …

Searching out spiritual ‘Ripe Bananas’

Some years ago, an esteemed spiritual teacher advised a distressed student, struggling with lack of self esteem and confidence, to “go and find some ripe bananas” [people with the qualities she wanted to embody] to spend time with. She explained how green bananas ripen faster when put next to ripe bananas and that this is the same with people. We are strongly influenced by those we spend time with or listen to. This turned out to be a sticky teaching for me. In the last few weeks I have been fortunate to have received teaching, and rubbed shoulders, from three such ‘ripe bananas’. This has been a privilege but also a prompt to reflect on what Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche meant by ’spiritual materialism’.

Chogyam Rinpoche was referring to the consumer-driven tendency, particularly prevalent in the West, to shop around for spiritual teachings from many sources, without committing to testing and exploring in depth any one teaching. So with reference to my last few weeks receiving teaching and spending time with three wise beings from different spiritual traditions, was I engaging in spiritual materialism or searching out spiritual ripe bananas?

shantimayi300So the first of these spiritual teachers from whom I received teaching over a two week period, was Shantimayi – the first woman and Westerner to be recognised by her guru, Sri Maharajji, as a Master in the line of Indian Sacha Masters. I had met her once, sixteen years ago, and been impressed by her wisdom. In her almost continuous travels around the world, teaching and listening to thousands, she explicitly avoids being identified as Buddhist, Hindu or any other religion and instead uses the more inclusive description of embodying a ‘heart’ path. I remembered her as a ripe banana and I was not disappointed! Read the rest of this entry …

Pain Relief Through The Power of Ignoring

How do you find happiness in a smashed–or disease-filled– body, wracked with pain? How do you find joy when you’re reeling from the pain of losing a loved one?

Try using the power of ignoring! Allow the attention to slide away from the sensations and thoughts filled with pain and redirect the mind to an object (physical or mental) with strong associations of beauty, or joy, or love, or kindness or generosity– or any of the emotions that feel good.

A few days ago I was fortunate to listen to a “Talking Heads” interview with Janine Shepherd, the young sportswoman training in cross-country skiing for the Winter Olympics, Read the rest of this entry …

Reflections from the West on Owning Land

A common theme of the Dalai Lama these days as he speaks to the world with great compassion is to urge us to take responsibility for our actions. He urges us to reflect deeply on the consequences of all our actions and inaction, the latter in the face of injustice, environmental damage, persecution and the like. It is with this plea for each of us to move from self-serving ends to a larger sense of responsibility for all living beings, that I am offering this moving essay by one of my spiritual teachers, Tarchin Hearn. Read the rest of this entry …

Discovering hidden stream of ill will

In one’s search for the seeds of ill will to weed out, I have often been surprised to discover subtle elements of ill will lurking amongst seemingly innocent reactions to surprise prompts.

New life!

New life!

Only yesterday I discovered some disconcerting evidence of one of these underground streams of subtle ill will manifesting in disguised form in the reply I gave to an interesting question posed by a young man (32 years old) who is close to me. Read the rest of this entry …

Brightening awareness brings freedom!

This morning I have been struck by three bright experiences that I want to share with you. The first arrived when sitting in meditation, ‘trying’ to “become like a rainbow!” A rainbow-like experience arises briefly but is quickly followed by sensory observations and fleeting thoughts. I remember the instruction: “Just allow whatever is there to be there”. In other words, “be aware!” Gradually as I drop the struggle to stop thoughts and be a rainbow, the thoughts and sensory read-outs do move to the background and a sense of clarity and spaciousness arises. The focus is on ‘allowing’ and brightening awareness of what is.

My second experience came sipping my coffee after a quiet breakfast, sitting alone on the deck of my house, overlooking grass, trees and water as I contemplated the flow of cause and effect Read the rest of this entry …

New Year Resolutions

Noticing the strength of habitual self referencing, reflected in the show of excessive apologising during recent hosting of wealthy English family members visiting us for Christmas, I am prompted to make some resolutions for 2010. Clearly, I need further work on developing loving kindness, acceptance, compassion and equanimity – amongst many other qualities!

It was somewhat unnerving to notice – with the help of my 22 year old and 32 year old daughters – how frequently (read ‘impulsively’) I fell into what I had thought was an outdated habit of internalised ‘put-downs’, expressed externally as apologies for inferior sleeping quarters; inferior, squashed seating arrangements for eating and limited cooking abilities of ‘vegetarian-only’ food! Read the rest of this entry …

Meditation and Cancer eBook Launch

I have just launched an ebook titled “Meditation and Cancer: It Does help!” For details see under new menu category “Things to Buy“.

This eBook combines a guide on meditation practices to promote health with true stories of people living with cancer who used meditation as part of their healing strategy.   In addition, each chapter ends with a guided meditation and some questions to prompt reflection on possible areas of one’s lifestyle and ways of relating that might benefit from change.

This eBook “Meditation and Cancer : It Does help!“ details research that I undertook and which was awarded a first class honours degree.  The research won me a scholarship to do further doctoral research on alternative and complementary ways of healing cancer.

My hope is that the combination of a step-by-step guide on meditating for health and the examples of people who have tried such methods when actually unwell with a life-threatening illness will inspire and help people use these methods of working with the mind to heal the body and other unsatisfactory aspects of one’s life.

Unlike so many medicines and treatments, meditation is free and can be practiced in the privacy of one’s own home, at one’s own pace.

If you, or someone close to you, has a chronic or life-threatening illness – such as cancer – then take a look at this ebook “Meditation and Cancer: It Does Help!

Warm wishes,

Jacqui

Quakers’ Commitment to peace and non-violence

The Quakers – or Society of Friends – probably have the Western world’s record for their consistent commitment over the centuries to peace and non-violence, in the face of numerous wars and oppression often fought in the name of religion. Listen to my interview with 83 y.o. Ruth Watson, who – as a Quaker – has spent much of her life supporting peace, mutual understanding and non-violent action for justice. In addition to describing some of the defining practices and beliefs of the Quakers, Ruth speaks about the many similarities with Buddhist thought and reflects on her service representing the Quakers on The United Nations Peace Committee.

Enjoy the interview with Ruth!

Warm wishes,

Jacqui